::already close to 3am in the morning.. wanna blog to get somethings off my chest.. lotsa things happened during this past 3 days especially.. had new teachers for photog, Mr Lau and Mr Seng.. Since it the start of a new year and having new teachers, the teachers wanted us to sort out the way we run the CCA.. which franking speaking, needs to be, cos our organisation issn't exactly up to standard..
Monday was quite a long day, as with Friday.. only Tues and Thurs we end quite early.. Monday was quite special, this year Monday the sch allocated a one hour free period at the start, so everyone could come an hour later, plus trying out a new system of starting 15mins later, only need to get to our first lesson at 9am.. met Ming Shi for her pics, then went to copy out in the library.. then 9am begins the start of a long day.. last period was PE, didn't do much, took height and weight.. then Mr Lau wanted to meet us about the CCA Bazaar.. compiled the pics for O1 and the exhibition pics over the weekend.. didn't finalise the pics for exhibition only until Mon evening.. Hui Yen wants to print some and Si Hui too, they got a couple of landscape pics from their overseas trip.. ended quite late, then rushed to Bras Basah to get the mounting boards.. then rushed to KT Photo to send the pics for printing.. already almost 8 by then, then took the train back to sch to keep the mounting boards in the darkroom.. even though the mounting boards aren't heavy, they are very hard to hold, imagine holding a extremely large piece of board and walking around.. reached home close to 10..
Tue's my shortest day, but still have lotsa things to do.. rushed back home to get the mounting spray and burn a DVD of the O1 pics cos Mr Lau said my SD card couldn't be read.. then that DVD also can't be read.. what the heck, it works perfectly fine on my com leh.. better work this time with my thumbdrive.. then rushed to return back the Eb clarinet to Ray, was raining by then, so practically ran in the rain.. took a cab to collect the pics, cos the rest were waiting for me at the darkroom, think they didn't hear properly, then the pics were bordered.. although I could ask for a reprint, but practically no time for that.. some of the landscape pics look good with a border but some don't.. took the train back, except this time without the clumbersome mounting board.. still had to buy plastic boards for backing.. asked Amelia and Boon Kiong to help out, quite efficient, already cut the mounting boards by the time I got back.. mounted the pics, cut the plastic boards, did the posters.. stayed till almost 8 to settle everything, well not everything, still haven't get the display boards for the exhibition and get the pamplets photocopied.. Li En also stayed back quite late to prepare for her Piano Ensemble.. can relate to her very well, since we're often very busy.. spent alot of money in 2 days, and only left $2 in my wallet.. still had to print the pamplets, Hui Yen helped us to put the posters and she was still with her friends.. lent from her some money to print.. got to the place Zhi Kai suggested, quite ulu, but its cheap.. freaking tired by the time I got home.. still had Maclaurin Serie's which I haven't done and its due..
was close to my breaking point by Wednesday.. coupled with GP essay test, the various reps hunting for mony and homework, Melissa telling me off for the posters brought me to the very edge.. then the Maclaurin Series that Joel need to collect I haven't done, and our new maths teacher was Mr Heng.. he really blew up in Maths lecture today, scolding us for talking etc.. then that imagine appeared in my mind, that was it.. unhappily put down my bag and clarinet which I almost lost in LT 4 cos I forgot to take it with me when I left.. really can't take the stress and pressure anymore and broke down.. Ms Shahida came to find out whats wrong, just told her can't take the stress and pressure of this past few days.. the first time I buckled under stress and pressure.. at that moment, just feel just wanting to talk it out with another person, like a best friend or something.. yea, there may quite alot of peolpe I'm close to, but theres no one person thats closest.. as I said in a previous post, just feel there's a lack of support, or encouragement.. that little boost if you wanna see it that way.. that feeling lasted though the Principal talk, which remined us of the impending A levels and that didn't help.. a little hug and a "Jeremy, its OK.." would work wonders here..
the "warmth" as Gloria would put it.. seeing her inside and outside of band is like seeing two different persons.. in band she's the bubbly and cheerful little girl we come to know of, outside band esp during sch hours, she gives me that depressed feeling.. speaking of band, felt much better after stepping into the band room and setting up my instrument.. just played whatever I felt like playing, though could barely hear myself over the rest of the people.. the feeling faded away once we performed.. just played my feelings out, really didn't care what the audience thought.. if I had a solo I would just play it all out.. something I feel is lacking in some of the more "emo" solo parts.. not expressive enough..
Mr Tan and the teachers echoed my view in the band room.. its like an either or variable in the band.. when we are playing outdoors, we enjoyed oursleves very much, but musically wise leaves more to be desired, then when playing indoors, intonation, balance all that quite good, but as Mr Tan puts it we're just playing the notes on the score, not the music on the score..
the 2nd performance was much better, Leon also got the audience more involved.. then went over to photog booth to see what's happening.. not bad, got alot of people that signed up.. alot credited to Hui Yen cos she went to "borrow" the choir's mic to announce.. hahaa.. too many infact, not enough cams to go round.. the teachers met with the Ex-Co to iron out all our duties, making them clear-cut.. ended the day on a slightly more positive note with a compliment from Mr Lau..

wah, 4am already, but feel much better after having "penned" my thoughts down.. so much for these past few days..

Labels: rant

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.:JeReMyChAn blogged on 3:00 am:.
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